The Rough and the Smooth in Daily Life

Hi Everyone,

A birthday card I received last week reminded me I’m in a long-term relationship.

Praying mantis
[The praying mantis said to her mate, “after we have sex but before I kill you, I’m going to need your help with some shelves”] As well as passion, there’s the humdrum – putting up shelves. Luckily, we’re not praying mantis. On the upside for my beloved, there is usually a cup of tea instead of death after he fixes the shelves.

In all our lives there are the fabulous joyful moments, and there’s also the humdrum and even the downright irritating, painful or sad. Well-being is not just about hunting the high points. In fact, that can backfire sometimes. Long-term well-being is about being able to take the rough and the smooth.

Do you want sandpaper or silk in life? Silk may be more comfortable, but it won’t make us smooth. It’s dealing with the rough sandpaper experiences that smooth our rough edges.

Learning how to appreciate the challenges we face, how to find something of value in them, or to see the silver lining – all of these can help us transform our sandpaper moments. We might not enjoy them at the time, but we cope better if we can see a purpose in it, and afterwards we are more likely to regard it as a positive experience.

This weekend I’ve been in Sydney for work. Noticing that I really miss my family is a useful sandpaper moment. It reminds me of how much I value them. And I got to watch a pod of whales putting on a spectacular show off the coast. That was silk – pure delight.


May the rough and the smooth add up to a great week for you,

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